If this is the case – you might have a brat…

Once when I was sitting on the Subway in Manhattan, a little monster who was way too big for a stroller was freaking out about something. At this point, you can tell everyone on the train is thinking – Thank (enter whichever deity here), that this troll doesn’t have to come home with me. The mother looked like she had done this before. She was a veteran of many battle with this little goon, though you can tell she had definitely lost a few. She started trying to calm him down. It went something like this.

Mom (M): Tommy, this isn’t what you’re supposed to do. Please ask nicely.

Tommy (T): NOOOO!!! I WANT (indecipherable babbling)!!!

(M): No Tommy, please behave.

At this point, Tommy stops putting up with his mom’s crap. Apparently he wears the pants in this relationship and slaps his mother across the face.

(M): No, Tommy, that hurts mommy. Don’t do that to mommy.

WHAT THE F*CK?! If I was Tommy and grew the appropriate sized balls to slap my mother (in public no less), I would probably end up with one less hand to slap anyone with. I’m not one to promote what would appear to be child abuse, but this was a little absurd. Everyone on the train, even those who looked like they would be terrible parents – was in shock that little Tommy had balls that size at such a young age.

Fast forward 14 years when young Tommy reaches the age of twenty (assuming he’s made i that long). I’m sure we’d see young Tommy doing drugs on some sidewalk with his friends as his mother unwittingly supports his habit by increasing his allowance whenever he demands it. It’s quite the shame. So, in this article (as I call my entries), I’ll suggest to America that you teach your children to respect you with the fear of God.

As a child growing up, I threw my tantrums. Every child has his or her moment where they stray from the path. How would my parents deal with such a situation? My father would call my mother, and my mother would probably smack me around a little. I don’t actually recall, and that’s the key. My mom used to hit me and my siblings, but we don’t remember. We just remember being terrified of my mother – even to this day. Yeah I’m about 6 inches taller and could probably take her out in a bar fight, but if my mother deemed something I did stupid enough to slap me. I’d probably have to agree it was stupid and let her slap me as hard as she wanted to.

Why can’t anyone else pick up this simple parenting skill? Teach your kid they’re wrong – immediately. Once I was watching Super Nanny when I was home from break. My sister and I had a seat in the living room and were watching this parade of misbehaved children. The parents were clueless as to what to do with this thing they brought in to the world.
“Super Nanny – my kid leaves the house and runs into the streets… what do I do?!”
Well lady, here’s an idea- you could lock the door and discipline your little monster whenever it gets outside of your house. Now really – what kind of stay at home mom is TOO busy to watch over her ONE kid? Her other goblins went to school during the day. If not she’d have three kids waiting for that truck to run them over and make a mess of the street. They’re house wasn’t that big, and really it doesn’t matter how dirty your house is, if your kid’s gonna run around outside just asking to get whacked by a tractor trailer.

Ugh, maybe parenting isn’t as easy as it seems. Once I have kids, I’m sure I’ll change my mind, but I’m also sure my kids won’t be trolling around like demon-children; terrorizing the dogs with their curiosity to see what hurts it.

Sigh… maybe some people shouldn’t be allowed to have more than one child. There was some lady with seven kids… Where the hell does she find the time? Granted there are functional families that are large, but they would appear to have a system – like the brady bunch. This family had no such thing – those children were a-holes. It’s beyond me. So, to end on my babbling, children, though cute and at times funny, should not be a thing to be taken lightly. It’s not like owning a cat that will automatically shit in a litter box and eat on its own. It’s like owning a Dalmatian that will destroy ALL your things if you let it. All you have to do is not let it.

JJRC

What is Decent Anyway?

Anyone ever really contemplate the idea behind being decent? I’m sure some of you have as you took a leak in public because the bar bathroom was too far away. Maybe, that’s just me. But in all seriousness, has anyone really questioned the FCC standards on things like clothing on TV?

The other day I was channel surfing and I found myself on Flavor of Love… I know this isn’t really the epitome of class and high American culture, but still, it’s on television. There were cooches and boobs everywhere, not to mention Flavor Flav running around putting his hands wherever these girls would let him. As it became apparent to me after 2 minutes, these girls really didn’t mind his fingers anywhere.

Where is the FCC on this one? They hop all over a jug that got flashed by accident for 2 seconds on the SuperBowl, but Flavor Flav has free reign to finger whatever he wants just because only a fraction of the people that watch the SuperBowl watch Flavor of Love? There are some steep double standards here. Nowadays, there’s almost no difference in being topless and wearing a bikini. Which brings me to my next point.

What’s the point of blurring boobs? If we’re blurring boobs, we should blur out pecs too. I think I’ve seen way too many men running around with their pecs hanging out like everyone wants to see. Yeah, it’s a little warm out, but damn, let’s be decent here. Women have to deal with it since they have to wear bras…

So, what am I getting at? Either have people on television wear full body suits and remove ALL physical contact to make sure that there’s no foul play, or let boobs and pecs roam free on television. There’s been too much of a stigma placed on hooters anyway. Once again, I was channel surfing and found myself on E! watching an incredibly graphic show about a Hollywood plastic surgeon (another fine trend our country has taken up). He was giving a man breasts because he wanted to be a woman. Who am I to judge – that’s right – no one. So, he did and they would blur out the nipples on the after shots, but not the before… See, it’s the same chest, there just happens to be some silicone in there making it look like a breast… Why blur it? Children shouldn’t be watching a show where vain people run around mangling each other anyway. If your kid ends up seeing some man getting cut open to put in a new set of fun bags- it’s not E!’s fault you were being careless, and the TV that is raising you child was changed under your not so watchful eyes.

So, I’ve made many points here. One, we should be able to see whatever goes on under the sun on television for free. Two, are men and women’s bodies really that different that we blur out a female’s chest just because they’re an enlarged version of pecs? This begs the question of why muscle building women have to wear those ridiculously tiny bras. Three, what’s up with television these days? Depraved people get shows just because they’re remotely interesting similar to the way a car accident with mangled corpses is interesting… This country’s random standards on things are rather interesting, and are just that – random puritanistic standards.

Some would argue we’re shielding children from things they should not see. I don’t have children, and I don’t feel like I need to be told what I can and cannot see on television I get for free. I’m not paying good money for that – or any money on that note. I only watched Sesame Street when we even got to watch TV. Pay attention to your little monsters – if people were better parents, I think TV would be more fun.

JJRC

Unemployed and Not Minding it in NYC

I left Ithaca, NY on the morning of July 30th, 2006. I was recently graduated and had recently become unemployed. What a shame – I thought. It would be easy. I would find a job real easy. I graduated from one of the best universities in the country… the world even. Yeah, Cornell was going to be my ticket to the fast track.

If the me from now could meet the me from then, we would have to exchange words. We’d also probably exchange punches because I was pretty stupid. Where am I know? I have been unemployed for 2 months and am currently sitting at home writing in this blog. Why? Well, the reasons are many. I am; 1- bored senseless, 2- unemployed, and 3- very impressionable. I had been speaking to a friend through the magic that is gmail. He said I should probably start a blog to entertain myself.

I listened to him because I really didn’t have much of anything to do. So, here I am. 22, unemployed, and writing in a blog. Ultimately, I hope to find a job in the incredibly near future. Those phone, credit card, and loan bills are not going to pay for themselves… though it would be fantastic if they would. I was considering writing famous philanthropists and asking for them to pay my loans, but chances are they receive about 100 pleas a minute by psychos, extended family members, and people like me (who will eventually became one or the other of the previously mentioned if rejected enough) asking for some quick cash because they’re too crazy, lazy or unemployed to get themselves out of a rut.

Why can’t life be more like the movie? If something goes wrong – a simple cut would stop the train wreck, and everyone gets a do-over. But alas, life has no cuts or do-overs. We just gotta keep trucking until we reach our destination. I dunno about you, but I started living my real life after I moved out of Ithaca on July 30th… Seems like there’s not much out here yet. I just gotta wait for a job – then I’ll let the good times flow.

I wonder how this weighs in as a first post. It’s probably not terribly good – I’m sure there are better writers out there creating masterpieces, then again, it’s just a blog – those masterpieces can’t possibly be that good. Flipping that same coin, there are probably infinitely more terrible writers… like teenage girls, psycho political bloggers, and people who think they’re wittier than they actually are (tragic)… Hopefully I fall into the former, because I’d just stop if I became the latter.

BOOYAH,

JJRC