How much does a Polar Bear weigh?

8 10 2006

If you’re sitting in a New York City bar and some drunk chick taps you on the shoulder and asks about a Polar Bear’s weight, what do you do? Well, the girl apparently asked the wrong table because we actually tried to figure it out. We sat there looking at each other wondering what the answer could be. I assumed this was a question to settle a stupid drunk argument about fat polar bears. After a couple of seconds, the girl extends her hand and says, “Enough to break the ice, I’m Jenny.” I didn’t catch her name, it could have been Petunia for all I knew.

We all laughed and turned back around. What an awkward way to make someone’s acquaintance. We didn’t really know what to do after that. The girls also didn’t appear to be too attractive. We let that one go. So, how often does a young lady actually lean into a random table of frat guys to ask such a foolish, but charming question. I think the interaction would have ended better if the waitress showed up with beers and said – that table over there bought you these. That’s how you win a man’s heart. Food and drink get you an in with a guy – almost guaranteed… unless he’s dieting… or playing ball on the other team.

It appears that the pick-up line is more of a man’s dominion. Girls are to be picked up and men are to do the sweeping off their feet (with smooth lines about how I lost my number and need hers). The way girls get in with guys is through food and drink or through the grapevine. If a guy hears “Hey, see Jenny over there, she was asking about you.” It’s intriguing and chances are (if Jenny’s worth it), our Hero, let’s call him Tommy, will wander over to Jenny and find out what the scoop is. Maybe Jenny might get a pick up line from our smooth Tommy. Only if she’s lucky, and she’ll swoon and be his forever. But if Jenny decided to be bold and walk up to Tommy and say things like “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” Assuming Jenny is not someone who should be on the cover of Maxim, Tommy might start to think – what a crazy bitch. I need to get away from her… Hot women can do what they want. If Jenny was amazing looking, she could probably walk up to Tommy and take a dump on the stool and tell Tommy to follow her back to her place, and he would oblige – gladly.

To have a slightly unattractive girl come up to you at a bar and ask you about the weight of polar bears… it might come off as a little desperate. It appears especially desperate if the group of girls Jenny is with start laughing at her. Poor Jenny didn’t have much going for her that night. She might have found love in a back alley… who knows?

So ladies, a word of advice. Pick-up lines are flattering, but confusing. We decided to actually think about how much the polar bear weighed… or why I would be tired of running through your mind… or if I rent or own my wings. Men are not used to being courted. Don’t get me wrong – GO FEMINISM – but this is something that will need more than a couple of beers to fix. To make men comfortable with this, we’d need to redefine society.

JJRC

Added 10-23-2006: a polar bear weighs 550 to 1,700 pounds.  Because it seems like a lot people are looking for that info.

JJRC


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22 responses

25 10 2006
Joe

This is actually, for the most part, very well written. It didn’t ramble on and had just enough humor to keep me entertained. I truely enjoyed reading this blog.

-Joe

PS. I agree. Men are only confused by pick up lines. Women should probably stick to food and drink.

31 03 2007
bill

Thats bullshit

10 09 2007
Jolene

That’s not true. I know a LOT of guys who would love pick up lines. Mostly guys with a STRONG sense of humor. I have a lot of guys interested in me, so I know I am attractive and a great girl, but I find pick up lines entertaining and I would DEFINITELY use them. This happens to be my favorite pick up line. I wish a guy would use it on me! Any other would most likely be idiotic….Men might not notice most women hate pick up lines just as much as men….It’s not a matter of gender, it’s of intelligence and preference. I’d rather you buy me a drink or walk over and say hi, but if it’s a funny line about a cuddly polar bear I would love it.

13 10 2007
rissa

nice blog :)
my boyfriend first met me with this line. i’ll always remember that.

22 10 2007
Tyrone

u suk

23 11 2007
vw

Enough to break the ice! Hi Im VW

26 11 2007
Scion

lol ^ like that… enough to break the ice… hi im bob

8 12 2007
brad

this whole thing was bullshit i wouldnt mind a girl coming up to me with a pick up line and if she wasnt that hot i would stil be nice and maybe take her on a date for the effort

1 01 2008
Global Warming

I think it all depends on the person.

10 01 2008
dhead

idk i think it would be alright for a girl to use a pick up line. no matter what she looks like. you might get a plutonic friend who is just fun to hang out with.

16 02 2008
tallstar7

Classic. I asked Google what a pickup truck weighs. And I found your polar bear night. Actually, there’s no telling what will win someone’s heart. I say good for Jenny for giving it a shot, and silly you for missing an opportunity to scratch behind her surface. Then again, this is where I met the love of my life: http://thebreadoflife.blogspot.com/search?q=seeking+unstable

28 03 2008
Danyelle

So I work as a hostess in a restaurant and a man came up to me and apologized for interupting my work but wanted to know if I know how much a polar bear weighs. Like other people have done, I became confused and starting contemplating what the answer was. I gave him a guess and he said he didn’t know either. Then I became more confused. Then he proceeded to tell me its enough to break the ice. It threw me for a loop, and I almost forgot what was a polite way to say No to giving him my number. I physically had to cover my mouth to avoid laughing out loud. I’ve never heard that pick up line before and for anyone thinking of using it, don’t. It’s rediculous and doesn’t work the way you want it to, lol.

10 06 2008
Holly

2000000000000000000000000000000000000

10 06 2008
Holly

22222222200000 i think that because they look heavy i would luv to have 1 but my mum just laughs at me

25 06 2008
Lisa

Yes, it’s true that men get confused by pick-up-lines. However, “Jenny” has found a place in your mind for atleast a little while and all she had to do was ask you how much a polar bear weighed. So perhaps you should have given her a chance?
I was on my Highschool chatroom and this kid asked me how much a Polar bear weighed, so I said I’d be back, and I told him the answer, and he just sat silent for a moment, and eventually said, “It was just a joke..” I was rather mad, I just spent that time to find him an answer thinking it was for some Science class and all along he was being a fool. But all is well, because I enjoyed this Blog.

29 12 2008
Hallie

I am a kid.I love polarbears

23 05 2009
alana marie

Couldn’t agree more. I googled “how much does a polar bear weigh” and your site came up as one of the top results (someone just used this pickup line on me and I was really confused… similar to your situation… but i’m a girl)

Oh and I don’t use pickup lines on guys. I don’t think i would be comfortable using the polar bear one at a bar (or at all, actually).

<3 the post though, keep it up!

8 06 2009
fgchfcyhgvyg

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17 07 2009
Michelle

I know a girl who used this on a grad student while she was a first year. It was the first guy she ever went up to like that and they’ve been friends since then. They’re not really dating, but he’s more interested in her than she has been with him. Go figure.

18 08 2009
alyssa

that same thing kind of happened to me one time. i was getting on a ride at an amusement park and the guy asked if i knew how much a polar bear weighed…i guessed 300 pounds and the ride took off. later i heard the phrase again and wondered if it was some massive inside joke i didn’t get lol so i googled it and this blog came up. i think the real moral of the story is don’t use lame pick up lines.

18 08 2009
alyssa

ps: i’m just now realizing it was a pick up line. lolol weirdest thing ever to say to someone…

7 12 2009
Justin

When I typed “how much does a polar bear weigh” into my search bar this was the first thing that came up. Well written, insightful, funny I’m impressed.

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