I was calling one of our stores in California… Orange, California to be exact. It was your typical conversation with a teenage girl on the other side. I have a great disdain for these teens because of their stupidity, and saying things like “I’m calling from Corporate” really gets their attention and makes them react with respect.
Teen Freak: Thank you for Calling such and such… may I help you?
Me: Hi, I’m JJ calling from the Corporate offices in New York. Are you a manager (knowing they’re not)?
TF: Oh, umm no, can I get her for you sir?
Me: Yes, Please.
TF: Please hold…
This isn’t about the young teenage girl that sounded like she really hated her job at our stores. This is about what I’ve dubbed “Hold Entertainment”. What do you expect while on hold? Before, I expected silence so me and my thoughts can argue about what the person on the other side of the phone was doing.
But, this time it was 50 Cent – Just a little Bit – sans the swearing. I’ve called many locations for this job during my researching for the Domestic Logistics Team, and I’ve heard the most interesting and creative advances in “Hold Entertainment”. One situation found me being quizzed on my trucking trivia. It went like this “How many hours are spent on trucking annually? The answer when we return.” Sadly, I’ve never been on hold long enough to hear the answer – a downfall of the system I guess. I guess they’re expecting me to be on hold indefinitely since I’ve yet to hear the answer, and trust me, I’ve been on hold a long fucking time.
I digress. It shocked me to hear Fiddy Cent over the telephone. I was wondering why though. I usually hear classical music or non-offensive pop-rock like Christina Aguilera in her non-dirrty hay-day. I was pleasantly pleased to be on hold and ultimately was upset when the manager came to the phone. I snapped back into the real world and continued my phone interview.
Me: Good Morning, did you receive your 8AM truck?
Manager: Yes…
Me: Was everything alright with the state of the truck?
Manager: There was a lot of merchandise.
Me:… but the truck was ok?
Manager: Yes…
I could probably have done without the second part of the conversation. I felt cheated by that. I would have been happier with his idiotic response if I had heard the rest of the damn song. But such is life.
Being on hold can be an alright thing I’ve recently learned, depending greatly on the “Hold Entertainment”. Currently, I’m enjoying the random blasts of Christmas Carols. It reminded me of the times when my parents would parade my sister and me on stage for the whole world to see. The grammar school annual Christmas Craptacular… My favorite songs have become “Do you hear what I hear?” and “Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas.” I’ve grown to dislike the “Little Drummer Boy” (No one wants to hear you play you talentless hack) and “Silver bells” (Christmas time in the city means more hobos and angrier shoppers). It’s the kinda of thing that makes you feel good about having once been a kid and living the magic of Christmas. They should throw random carols during the year, just to keep you on your toes. It’s a nice feeling to have when you’re in your cubicle desperately waiting for the clock to hit quitting time.
It’s a fine thing to be on hold… and maybe after the Christmas season, I’ll finally learn how many hours American companies spend on their trucking situations.
JJRC
