There many types of bathrooms. I went to the bathroom today, and it made me think. Each has its own quirks. They are probably the most private of places. For example, there’s the home bathroom. It is the place where you can find the most peace. You are usually the most alone in your bathroom. No one will probably knock. You can get naked. You can sing. You can even dance a little. You shave parts of your body and scrub others. Your bathroom is your kingdom. There’s even a throne where you sit and banish unwanted inhabitants of your bowels into a watery grave. A fitting ending to a foul situation.
Then there are public bathrooms. This is your home bathroom’s hideous twin sister. The public bathrooms are a little too big and impersonal. There’s always some odor. It doesn’t wash regularly. The constant flow of men leave the public bathroom looking like a terribly aged and worn out hooker. You go up to it only for the need to release - and you’re too far from home to go to your old lady at home.
The office bathroom is probably the most awkward. If you work in a smaller office, you have a high possibility of running into a co-worker in there. The other day I went into our tiny tiny bathroom and smelled a foul odor. I notices someone was in the stall. I had been there too long for me to just walk out. I had to go to the urinal. I wouldn’t have mentioned anything if the person in the stall hadn’t started talking to me. He said something along the lines of it getting colder in the near future. I was at the urinal answering my short answers until he started asking involved questions - what are your plans for the weekend? When was the last time you talked to what’s her face? What’s the ED’s schedule looking like? All awful questions that can’t be answered by yes/no’s. This is a pretty bad situation.
Maybe one day I’ll become comfortable enough with my BMs to talk to someone while I’m taking a smelly dump. Hopefully that day never comes.
Potties
Sunday, January 20, 2008There many types of bathrooms. I went to the bathroom today, and it made me think. Each has its own quirks. They are probably the most private of places. For example, there’s the home bathroom. It is the place where you can find the most peace. You are usually the most alone in your bathroom. No one will probably knock. You can get naked. You can sing. You can even dance a little. You shave parts of your body and scrub others. Your bathroom is your kingdom. There’s even a throne where you sit and banish unwanted inhabitants of your bowels into a watery grave. A fitting ending to a foul situation.
Then there are public bathrooms. This is your home bathroom’s hideous twin sister. The public bathrooms are a little too big and impersonal. There’s always some odor. It doesn’t wash regularly. The constant flow of men leave the public bathroom looking like a terribly aged and worn out hooker. You go up to it only for the need to release - and you’re too far from home to go to your old lady at home.
The office bathroom is probably the most awkward. If you work in a smaller office, you have a high possibility of running into a co-worker in there. The other day I went into our tiny tiny bathroom and smelled a foul odor. I notices someone was in the stall. I had been there too long for me to just walk out. I had to go to the urinal. I wouldn’t have mentioned anything if the person in the stall hadn’t started talking to me. He said something along the lines of it getting colder in the near future. I was at the urinal answering my short answers until he started asking involved questions - what are your plans for the weekend? When was the last time you talked to what’s her face? What’s the ED’s schedule looking like? All awful questions that can’t be answered by yes/no’s. This is a pretty bad situation.
Maybe one day I’ll become comfortable enough with my BMs to talk to someone while I’m taking a smelly dump. Hopefully that day never comes.
JJRC
Posted in Awkward Conversation, Bathroom, Daily Life Occurrences, Life, Potty, Social Commentary, Work |