There’s nothing quite like picking up a fresh pair of glasses. I find shopping painful in general. The one different thing about getting glasses is that you’re making a choice that everyone will notice. They are an extension of your face. A wrong choice not only tells the world you’re stupid; it tells the world that fact for some time. After the optometrist finished puffing shit in my eye and blinding with flashing lights, I was ready to walk onto the sales floor.
I am wandering around and a perky Indian woman comes up to me and asks if I need help. She seemed nice enough. I say, “Sure” with a quick smile. Suddenly, she transforms into Kelly Kapur – complete with quick dialogue and high pitched squealing. I immediately regret the smile. The smile was the one thing that tells her – yes, this will be friendly, and we will be joking continuously.
So, she asks me what I like – and I say, “I would like to look around on my own and see what I like.”
She responds, “oh that’s boring. Do you mind if I offer you suggestions? Oh we also have sunglasses. If you don’t them with prescriptions, they are available without them – you get a discount actually so it’s probably better. Do you currently have a pair? (Me: No… ::shudder::) OH! I’m gonna be a mommy now. You should totally get a pair because you have to protect your eyes. Ok I’m done being a mommy. You’re probably thinking – she must still be drunk from last night. haha Well, I’m not – so stop thinking that. We’ve only known each other for 5 minutes, and you’re already thinking bad things of me. Oh try these on.”
The following 40 minutes pretty much more of the same. She would blab on and on, and I would follow her around the store. She told me more than 15 times that if I didn’t like anything I could say so. It would not offend her. I wiped the sweat off my face at that one. If I said, “these studded Versace glasses in hot pink look like shit.” She won’t go into a rage that might end up with my head hanging from the door of Lenscrafters as an announcement to the world – Don’t fuck with Kelly Kapur.
As we waltz around the store, she seems to be showing me some really expensive frames. I start to sneak peaks at the prices. WTF – $359 Frames?! Ultimately, she leaves me alone long enough to find some decent looking frames under $200. The total thing ended up being around $355. To the bitter, this woman kept talking. I learned the following about this woman:
-Her belt was too tight
-The locks at the store break her nails
-She owns a pair of Aviators
-Her boss has blue eyes
-She makes loves working at Lenscrafters and thinks people look down on her.
I should just find a new place to purchase glasses because it’s hard enough without the over-excited sales person.
JJRC
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