There’s no crying in baseball…

29 07 2009

or the office or the bathroom or outside of your safe place.  There are people who cry much too liberally.  There are few of my friends whom I have seen cry.  One of them was after a few too many beers.  I still remember him crying on our backyard.  He wailed about having lost the chance to announce a Cornell Lacrosse game.  Things got a little intense when he called his mother during this crying spell.  This would not have been weird because it was Mother’s Day.  It was weird and inappropriate because it was 3:30am.  He had to explain himself the following morning.

The same made me burst into tears once when he broke me down after too many beers (you see a pattern here?).  The last time I cried while sober, someone had died.  That was well over a year ago.  I don’t think I’m emotionally deadened – I simply know when and where it is a time to cry… it’s usually never and nowhere.

Meanwhile, I have seen a few of my co-workers cry from stress.  Stress?!  If I cried from stress, nothing would get done.  I thrive off of stress.  It might be the few vestiges from my now defunct Type A personality.  Type A JJRC is a no-holds bar person to eats challenges for breakfast and defecates on the competition.  I’m not exactly proud of Type A JJRC, but honestly, he got shit done.

Crying always complicates things because there’s no correct reaction to it in a professional setting. Hugging at work is inappropriate.  Counseling on personal problems at work is inappropriate.  This is not to say that I do not care – I definitely do.  I care about people, but work is a completely different sphere.  From 9-5, I shut down the emotions and turn on the motivational support.  Sure, people get discouraged, and unless you’re crying, I’m there for you 100%!

Type A JJRC





Bugged in Bed…

23 07 2009

A few months ago, I felt an itch.  I woke up one morning in May. My shirt had lifted while I slept, and I had three small bites on my back.  I wondered why a mosquito had taken three bites out of me.  A few days later, I had two more on my arm.  Then my other arm began to itch.  I didn’t quite understand why these mosquitoes were freaking out and biting me continuously.

One evening in May, the itching became very intense, and I woke up in the middle of the night.  I sat up and rolled over to my lamp and turned it on.  My arm was itchy.  My back was itchy. My legs had some bites.  Then I saw them – like a small fat army.  The bed bugs were dispersing, and I didn’t know what to do.  I began to kill them with a sock I had left on the floor.  When I was done, both my mattress and the sock were covered in dark circles of blood and bed bugs remains.    It was 3:30AM.  That was the end of sleep for that night.

I rolled over and thought, “That should be most of them…”  Should was the operative verb in that sentence.  It wasn’t.  I did my research online, and I found a wealth of bed bug stories.  Each story was much like mine.  I read about people being bitten on couches and on rugs.  People had them in books and shoes and closets.  I almost had a breakdown at that point.  It wasn’t something I felt I could deal with alone, and it sounded expensive to clear them from my living area.

For the rest of May, I tried to sleep.  I would lay down and close my eyes.  The sheets would crawl around under my skin.  It was all in my brain for the first half of the evening, and then around 3:30am, I would wake up, and pick up my sock and kill.  For the first two weeks, I figured it would subside, but it only got worse and worse.  The bed was made of wood – which is the best material for harvesting bed bugs.  The websites would tell me that bed bugs hide anywhere and are known to crawl over targets and drop onto them.  The very notion that they were that intelligent further disturbed me.  I began to sleep with the light on.  You can imagine how cranky I was at work during this month.

Since my job had recently instituted a 20% decrease in pay and looking for inexpensive beds was proving to be impossible, I decided to hold off on any immediate action.  As June came around (yes, I waited until June to do something about this), I decided to give up and remove my bed.  June 12 was a day spent completely cleaning and clearing everything in my room.  I spent money on a Dyson to suck out these fuckers from the carpeting.  I removed the bed frame, the box spring, the mattress and other large crap from my room – alone.  I vacuumed and scrubbed to the point of complete exhaustion.

By the end of the day, the room was pristine and empty.  My clothing was trapped in plastic containers away from any other materials that were not plastic and sealed.  I washed them the following day in hot water and dried them for much to long – effectively ruining some articles, but it is worse to wear something with bed bugs on it.  I bought a camping cot from Bed, Bath and Beyong along with a cover for the mattress and new pillows.  I threw away all my bedding which included a Nautica comforter since I did not want to risk keeping one bed bug egg in my house.  I fumigated the room and slept elsewhere that night.  Three weeks later, I fumigated again.  The fumes kill only those hatched and can miss the bed bug eggs.  Fumigating again after 2-3 weeks, assures you kill the eggs that have hatched since the first fumigation.  I really enjoy knowing that.

In the month of June, I spent about a thousand dollars to completely clear my room/apartment of bed bugs.  To assure that, I sleep on a rolling metal cot, with my clothing kept in plastic containers without a comforter and one lone pillow.  If I see another bed bug as long as I live here – I might have to  cry.

JJRC





Retreat!

21 07 2009

As I woke up at 6:30AM, I was pretty happy to have packed my bags earlier in the weekend.  I rolled out of my sleeping cot, took a shower, and got dressed.  I was out of the house by 7:00AM heading to Rego Park Queens.  By 9:00AM, I was sitting in a pick-up with no AC heading toward Shelter Island, NY with my co-worker Jenny.  By 9:45, Jenny’s muffler dropped, and we stopped talking because we’d have to yell too loud to hear each other.

Why was I going to Shelter Island in a pick-up with a married co-worker this morning, you might ask?  It’s not as spicy as it sounds.  We were headed to my job’s second retreat of the year in a rented house on the tiny, rich-person’s playground, Shelter Island.  Though it is not a full retreat since about 4 staff members are missing, there are some sessions planned to “enrich” the staff.  They haven’t started yet, so I won’t comment on whether they were enriching or not.

Meanwhile, the one enriching thing I have witnessed so far was all the women in my office crowded around a laptop voting whether men that came up on “Top Hotness Men of (Enter topic here)” were actually the top hottest.  Of course, wine and beer fueled the conversation.  Out of our 15 staff members, there are only 4 men left.  

During the retreat in December of last year, we had about an even split of 10 men/10 women.  That retreat offered a different conversation.  It was loaded with talk of Batman, charades and Christmas.  Now, our numbers run low – leaving us to the conversations of which men are hot.  To be fair, they did switch up the conversation after about an hour.  They decided to let the two men in the room join the conversation.  The Top 100 women were dissected, and honestly, women are cattier and more aggressive than men when judging women.  I also heard the terms Butterface, cracked out, and meth-head.  

You really learn a lot  about your co-workers on retreats. I now know Ester thinks Fergie has a “fucked up, meth face.”  Hopefully, today’s conversation will carry a little more substance.

JJRC





Weddings

10 07 2009

I have been invited to four weddings this summer.  Five in the past calendar year total.  This summer seems to be an ongoing festival of human love.  Weddings here and there.  My sister’s wedding was a huge to-do.  I don’t recall how I got to bed, but there are plenty of pictures of me dancing and singing to whatever song blared from the speaker.  The morning after was an affair – since I had to collect myself and quickly get to the airport for our flight back to New York.  Flying hung-over is not an ideal situation.

This weekend, there are two weddings.  I will only be attending one.  My friends and family have a propensity to hold simultaneous weddings.  My cousin was married the same weekend as my friend John.  My friend Mark will marry the same weekend as my friend Josh.  I only attended the former of those two sets.

As I put on my tuxedo and prepare my remarks for the evening.  I can’t help but feel somewhat nervous.  I’m sure I won’t say something extremely embarrassing, but I feel I am on the stage to perform, and that this will be remembered for years to come.  What pressure.  I was reviewing videos from weddings to get a general idea of what I am to say, but nothing good came up.  I did watch this a few times to dissect what happened.  I don’t really have a conclusion… fake… real? Who knows?

I’ll be sure to step carefully when I walk around the bride – that’s for sure.

JJRC